Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. [CDATA[ Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. And armbands. I love individuals. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. That's the problem. They own you. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. But once youre born, youre on your own. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Forget the politicians. // page settings Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. And fight songs. You know why? Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. I love individuals. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. (function() { Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. Enjoy! It takes up a lot of your time. I have certain rules I live by. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. They own everything. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); there's no such thing as rights. }); It always has been. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. They own everything. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. We made 'em up. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. They own, and control the corporations. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. window.Mobvious = {}; Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. } Its because volunteers work for no pay. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. [CDATA[ The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. 4. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. This is what we have to offer. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. init: function() { And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Thats the problem. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. I look at war a little. Theres no present. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. George Carlin. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. // First Alert Model Pc1210 Recall, Mlb Players Who Didn't Play In High School, Fun Facts About University Of Arkansas, Articles G