Matilda: MR WORMWOOD Amanda Thripp: MISS TRUNCHBULL % have you read a whole book? LAVENDER MRS WORMWOOD walks back behind the curtain. Indeed, sir. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. I have my ion you. MISS TRUNCHBULL This living 'eLl. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. Million $ Sticky Host: . Oliver Twist . Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. Jenny: MRS PHELPS Matilda: Get in the car, Melinda! [He throws the phone to the lackey.] Can I ask you a question? I wonder why they didn't just change their story. I'd love to read to you some time. Miss Honey: [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. Don't waste this. MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. You These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. My mummy says I'm a miracle, One should avoid confrontation when possible. Come stai? Mr. Wormwood. You Trunchbull: A little less zzz, a lot more zing. Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. A boy with no fingie? Amanda Thripp: Michael: What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? A contract is a contract is a contract! Fifteen times two is thirty. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. | You did this! A spotlight searches the theater. I am off to bleach my roots . Miss Honey: Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. I'm great! It was the age of wisdom . It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. [She turns the screens back on.]. . 2. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. Let's leave maths for the time being . SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! I didn't go to college. Michael: Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. You can be all cynical, MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. . But here it is, coming true: xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. Your old man is going to work. You show the little brat! Cat in the Hat! What we all suspected. Just because you find that life's not fair, it But I'm his little soldier. MRS WORMWOOD [yells] [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] No one's going to listen if you don't shout. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . I don't know anybody who did. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. I love books. CHILDREN 2 [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] And if it's not right, You're off to school in a few days' time. I will not say anymore! ? Mrs. Wormwood: . That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! We have everything . We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] MRS PHELPS MATILDA Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. You should read it. MRS WORMWOOD And it isn't wide enough to sit. The most common thing in life is life . Am I . [to MATILDA] You! You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Go on. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Yes, wonderful. To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. Yes, sir. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. What is it? Ow! MR WORMWOOD You what? Two, three, four. Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Come along, Bogtrotter. Bye-bye, sir. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. Mrs. Wormwood: . Are they good runners? This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. The scene unfreezes. What? Do you have a job? Hanging down by your ears. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. Looks are more important than books. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. Tricks!" If you sit around and let them get on top, you You have brats yourself? He did what you asked. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. Mrs. D? Mrs. Wormwood: Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Oh, very rich. But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? Bye, Mrs Phelps! The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. Ladies and gentlemen! Get on with it. The world's greatest acrobat! Everybody loves a little something exotic. MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. A bell rings. Matilda: CHILDREN [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] And if it's not right, MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? MISS TRUNCHBULL The biggest burp I had ever heard about! . CHILDREN She has never seen a! 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. A little less flat, a lot more heel. Are you crying? And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. I think she might be an idiot. My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". What do you think might be the cause of this? 5. Harry Wormwood: Look at this. RUDOLPHO This must confirm, Bruce, Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. Look, am I fat? Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. Her mind? . Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. MRS WORMWOOD Would rob them of their hope of living happily. 3 0 obj This is the cottage from your story! Who would be here to sign for the packages? Then your mummy is a twit! If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. You have to force the little squits to toe the line! Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. To the rules. Matilda: google_color_url="320000"; CHILDREN 1 BRUCE And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Oh, I look nice. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, yes. MR WORMWOOD Here. 9:17 is correct. Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. DOCTOR You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. Yes. Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? google_ad_width=120; 8. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Not yet, anyway. MAN: I think he blinked. Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. Zinnia Wormwood: Matilda: CHILDREN My, my, that is good. They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? Good morning, children! And you know where you'll end up? What are you looking at? Look at you trying to hide, silly. . Wonderful. Crush that little weasel! CHILDREN Oh, right. Did you see all those packages outside? Why would you want green hair? You have to put it right. Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! Matilda? Don't let her win. . . PERSPERATION! Zinnia Wormwood: Look! Harry Wormwood: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. No, it's fine. Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. [her car has broken down] MISS TRUNCHBULL Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! Won't change a thing. MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. Ah-ah-aah-ah DOCTOR Well, this isn't my room at all! But the "tomato" is a very good word. and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! But this little girl . He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. WOMAN: And insightful. And always keep your feet inside the line! [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] Mr. Wormwood: Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. MR WORMWOOD Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. You have to put it right . Matilda's been here all morning. I should be dancing the Tarentella Instead, she's found me. And I will Teach you a thing or two. DOCTOR . MATILDA Last week, I read quite a few. Matilda: Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. . You wouldn't beat them in a race! . 3. Very supple. MRS PHELPS Hat seems to be, er . Matilda: celebrities! When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . Have to admit . A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. Agatha Trunchbull: I'll be watching you, each and every one. But it's a truth empirical Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Stop. . Do we want to do something that rhymes with "truck"? Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. Now, look. Put your light on. [on the phone, yells] ACT 1. DOCTOR Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Like you, I was (Q) curious, Or even two, Bruce, In . Jenny: . When the hinges creak and the door is closed, [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. . No! Here in the library again, are we? You're not a little girl. Alternate Versions Miss Honey: MISS HONEY MAN: Have you seen his school report? it isn't fair! What's wrong with you? One day when I'm older, Miss Honey: My father's portrait used to hang there. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. Let alone getting the conversation going! MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. Miss Honey: She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. With your stupid books and your stupid reading. These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. . MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. . MISS HONEY But I'm a barrelina They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. I chose looks! MISS HONEY Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. Of course! MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. Why? They're the bane of my life. She hates it when I go out. Aaaargh! [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. Go on, then! You have got to be Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Oh, that's where it's at! I? MISS TRUNCHBULL Jenny: RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. No, Miss Trunchbull. | We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. I think you'll want your trousers loose. Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. FBI Agent Bill: [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. Matilda: Mr. Wormwood: RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. Yes. My mummy says I'm a miracle. You're just wasting enerGy, Useless, flamin' car! You'd better hide! She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. AAAAAHHHHH! An idiot? Is the first word . Hey, dip face. Who you been talking to? I don't know. Agatha Trunchbull: A bell rings. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. You've not got the spine. Zinnia Wormwood: But the one thing . The second one cost $512. . Why don't you run away? MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Or maybe your largeness Others take a less emotional approach. Antibiotics, or . [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Matilda: Cover yourself in chocolate glory! I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. So, Matilda. [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Harry Wormwood: But it's a truth empirical. That is a promise. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . Somewhere along the way, my dear, Sell me a lemon? MRS WORMWOOD That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Because you're pretty darn sweet. "Right"? Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! We can have our cake and it it too! MR WORMWOOD And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. MISS HONEY AAAHH! The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] The fibers fused to my hair! One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. Knock on the door, Jenny. All right! MATILDA collects her books. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. And that's not a hint, by the way. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. The desks descend into the ground. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. They're all mistakes, children! WOMAN: Well, take another!
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