I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. Danny: We'll keep them here til they arrive. We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. Monty: Would you like a drink? Be seated. [pointing an eel at him] You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Look at Geoff Woade! Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Marwood: Thanks! Marwood: Withnail: Half an hour? Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Then the fucker will rue the day! Monty: Withnail: *I'll show the lot of you*! What goods the countryside? Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. Monty: [voiceover] Quotes and one-liners: . Withnail: Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. We mean no harm! "It's gone. Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Withnail and I Quotes. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: I've only had a few ales. "Withnail and I Quotes." Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. I've been to drama school. Withnail: You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. [she still doesn't answer. [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). "I'm going to pull your head off." Tactical necessity. That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Withnail: And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Marwood: Marwood: [amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables] Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. Oh, Oxford Marwood: Marwood: There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. [voiceover] I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. I tried not to. "I fuck arses." Be seated. Withnail: Old suit?! Monty: There must and shall be aspirin! Haven't seen Gielgud down the labour exchange! Withnail: 'Scuse me. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. What a piece of work is a man! Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores. You been away? Withnail: I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Marwood: Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch You dont deserve such loyalty. Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. No more than you have. Withnail: Marwood: I've no idea, I've never met him. That's a very good idea. Marwood: Withnail: Tactical necessity. [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. All right, this is the plan. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. Jesus Christ. Get into countryside, rejuvenate. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Just think of it with bacon across its back. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Monty: God fulfils himself in many ways. You merely imagined it. Marwood: What the fuck do you mean? But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? Then why has my head gone numb? [spits onto the ground] It's you he wants. Withnail: The thermostats! General: The cottage. Withnail: It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. Is Marwood in love with Withnail? Withnail: I've no idea. Danny: Monty: Don't look, don't look! Locations, see. This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! *Fork it*! Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain, they stop and look at each other. Marwood: [Contemplating how to kill a chicken for supper] It's got dreadful beady eyes, they stare at you. There can be no true beauty without decay. Reflecting these times. He can eat his ****ing radish. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Withnail: Bastard must have died. I could hardly piss straight with fear. Withnail: Marwood: Suits me. I've looked into it. I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! Headhunter to everyone. I couldn't, I'm spaced. You will make it low. Withnail. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. Brings back such memories of Oxford. Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Pin By Lucy MckFunkdrick On Sunny Side | Withnail And I, Mens www.pinterest.com. Monty: Withnail: 2023. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! Withnail: I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Peter Marwood ("I"): Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Street: the embalmer. Monty, Monty! Then why's he wearing that old suit? - Washington Irving. [lunges towards the sink] Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Withnail: Come on, old boy. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Jake: Do you like to experience all facets of life? [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! How like a *god*! If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. Here is the clip. I don't consciously offend big men like this. The only people he converses with are his clients, and occasionally the police. Let him get his drugs out. It will pass. Nonsense. Keep back, keep back! Got a randy bull up there. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Marwood: We'll have another pair of large scotches. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. [smiling] Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. There's nothing out there except a hurricane. What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? Don't get uptight with me, man. [pulling back the lace curtain] But no man's put me down yet. These eels here are for his pot. Marwood: Withnail: Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. There's the supper. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. Danny: Black puddings are no good to us. Marwood: I think you've been punished enough. Hello? The police, Miss Blennerhassett. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. It's got to warm up. [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] . How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! Cunt gave him two years. I don't advise a haircut, man. We want the finest wines available to humanity. Monty: Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. Burnt! I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. echosmith cool quotes lyrics kid song yah crowd she straight lyric follow quotesgram sees them lines bord kiezen he sydney Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. I don't want to hear it. Withnail: [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. What do you want? I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! Jake: I'm utterly arseholed. [narrating over scene] Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. I demand to have some booze! Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. Parkin's been. Withnail: Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" You're looking very beautiful, man. Marwood: You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . Something's got to be done. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. You got a rush. I think we've been in here too long. Be seated. let him get his drugs out! Hair are your aerials. Required fields are marked *. Especially that little pimp! This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! I think we've been in here too long. [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] Soak up the booze. No, no, you can't. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Monty: What have you done to them? There can be no true beauty without decay. Rejuvenate? Withnail: How like an angel in apprehension. Withnail: This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail: Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Withnail: Where did you school? Withnail: [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. I can't take aspirins without a drink. We can't go on like this. I was merely making an observation. Withnail: The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Danny: "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. Monty: [voiceover] Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? [leaning out the car window] [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] What have you done to them? I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Withnail: Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. I was gonna cook onions. Marwood: [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. Ponce! The school in fiction Poetry. Danny: You're out of your mind! That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. How noble in reason! Withnail: Stop saying that! [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Maybe he f***s arses! Of course you are! They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. I'm not going to understudy anybody. The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. It's society's crime, not ours. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Find *anything*. Go with it. Danny: No, man. Withnail: Withnail: I could take double anything you could! I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. I must be ill. Monty: Monty: It's trying to get itself in with you. . I've looked into it. 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this. Withnail: It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! I say, you know what we should do? General: Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Do you grow? So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. Marwood: Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail: You've got soup. And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. [pulling some goo out of the sink] [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] Withnail: Well neither have I. Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Rubbish. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. You're not leaving me in here alone. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Danny: Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Uncle Monty: Sherry? Withnail: He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. His name's Presuming Ed. Monty: Marwood: Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. [voiceover] The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Easily *You'll all suffer*! But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. That's what you say. Marwood: Danny: Danny: Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. Withnail: Here. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. We're doing a feature for Country Life. Old suit? It's you he wants. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. We'll be found dead in here next spring. Come on lads, let's get home. Isaac Parkin: Withnail: Withnail: Ive told you why. Then it was a rodent. He's an expert. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? You love him. I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! 4 Mar. Hair are your aerials. How *dare* you! At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. So, he looks at the Coalman and says "What's all this? They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. It takes away your appetite just looking at it. You won't keep us anywhere. Making enemies of our own futures. Withnail: Nor women neither. 2 quotes have been tagged as withnail-i: Bruce Robinson: 'We've gone on holiday by mistake' and Bruce Robinson: 'Here. Jake: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. Find your neutral space. Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. This is a far superior drink to meths. Withnail: Withnail: Poacher. It will die, it will die! [They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]. [a live chicken is standing on the table]. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. You just wait. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Look at this - accident blackspot? Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! Monty: Marwood: *Arrrgh*! Withnail: You're not in the same boat. Man delights not me. These are the best withnail and I quotes. Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! I hope you guys like our collection. It's obsessed with its gut. I'm not gonna understudy anybody. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! [with his mouth full] Look here, my cousin's a QC! How infinite in faculties! You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. To offer it the show of violence", [as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear]. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] This is me, naked in a corner! Withnail: How should I know where we are? [reading the note] Hair are your aerials. Marwood: General: Especially that. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. [toasting with a drink] I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. Withnail: [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] Indeed, I remember my first agent. Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! You been away? Withnail: Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. You'll all suffer! Cooking's one of the natural instincts. I know how you feel and how difficult it is. withnail and i 96119 GIFs. Your desires. He winces as he stretches his leg]. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. No! Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Sinew in nicotine base. Marwood: Now, would you leave? I want something's flesh! Look at that, accident black spot! Monty: Withnail: Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Tea Shop Proprietor: What's in your hump? Jake: Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. Marwood: Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. I have a heart condition. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. Dead down the drain? What happened to my cigar commercial? Danny: I think a drink, don't you? [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. Where's the aspirins? [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] Marwood: Withnail: Marwood: What good's the side? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Beastly, ungrateful little swine! This is a British cult classic. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. General: How noble in reason! What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Withnail: Law rather appeals to me actually. Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Monty: We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! Monty: I adore you. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Withnail: They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. [removing his sunglasses] Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? Dosed 'em. Withnail and I Quotes. Withnail & I (1987) clip with quote "Here hare, here." Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Hairs are your aerials. His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Scrubbers! Nor women neither. This thread is archived. Marwood: [he picks up the kettle on the stove. I'll sleep here. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Withnail: Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! [voiceover] If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. move forward or backward to get to the perfect spot. Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Had a weight under his fez. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Hello? Withnail: Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. He's building the prototype now. That's politics, innit? Danny: No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Clearly a myth. Marwood: [relieved] Monty! There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! withnail. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. The fucking kettle's on fire! Monty: Here hare here! Marwood: He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. You hold it down, I'll strangle it. Sherry? No fridges, no televisions, no phones. How dare you! Cake. We've got to get some booze. You mustn't blame him. [casually lighting a cigarette] Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. No, I haven't got another. You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. Marwood: Give me a downer, Danny. Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Monty: Course you have, you're the poacher. Have you met Jake? Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. [eyes filling with tears] *Aaaaarggghhhh*! It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". You never discuss your family do you? Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. You've got a rush. Marwood: Marwood: Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Quotes.net. Withnail: Danny: They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . The carrot has mystery. Withnail: If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Who fucks arses? Eat some cake. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Well, I'd hardly say that. It's ridiculous. It's the only solution to this intense cold. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. [after a phone call with his agent] [about Danny] Withnail: Press J to jump to the feed. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Withnail: Youre not in the same boat. Monty: That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: What a piece of work is a man. What's your name, MacFuck? Listen to this. You mustn't blame yourself. Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Change down, man. The bastard's about to run at me! Jake: Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Have you either of you got shoes? Marwood: Little tarts, they love it! And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black.