NOTE: If some of the multiple choice answers are longer than your screen, please turn your device sideways! After reading your emails I can understand why. On the other hand, it could be that you did cut contact, but now they’ve got back in touch. Now comes to the meat of getting your ex back with the no contact rule. It's nothing personal; it's simply that most women (and men, too, for that matter) who are aiming to reconcile after a breakup end up taking the wrong kind of advice, or simply making everything up as they go along. After the initial relief your ex will feel right after the breakup, the next days of no contact (usually after a week or so) put your ex in a stage of curiosity.. In this post, I am going to talk about the No Contact rule that you probably read all about as you were searching the internet for ways to get back together with your ex. They give you the power to choose what is best for you. Posted by 3 years ago. They wonder why you haven’t reached out and why you haven’t fought to get them back since most other people do. For instance, you could be asking, “does the no contact rule work to get my ex back?” Or, you could be asking, “does the no contact rule work to help me get over him?” more: The No Contact Rule – Everything You Need To Know Here’s the truth: the answer to both the questions above is yes. more: How To Get Your Ex Back In 5 Steps Guaranteed. 4 steps to know how to get back with a stubborn ex 1/ Never try to make your ex reason with you. What would be the consequences of each option? There are many reasons why an ex may not respond to your first or even second contact. The way that it works is more like baking a cake. It’s kind of like basketball. So let’s take a look at what the no contact … Before I even get started on how to win your ex back, you have to understand how frustrating this foresight is for us. Fear of rejection, pride and guilt can make it very difficult to brave direct communication. What you need to ask yourself is "why do I want to be with someone that can cast me aside so easily?" share. Ready to try to get your ex back? Most of you concentrate on what you do not want to attract into your life. Will the no contact rule work in getting your ex back? Imagine this: you want your ex back, so you go out of your way to show him that you can’t move on. Your ex wants nothing to do with you. Only no contact can do it. Well either you move on, or ex sees he/she has made a mistake, and makes an effort to work things out, but key is to move on like your ex will stay your ex. I told myself: Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with someone with such poor jugement? Why can’t your ex beg to get you back? Go no contact for at least a month. In case you don’t really get it, the No Contract Rule requires you to refrain yourself from contacting your ex for a set period of time. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. You want them to understand what it feels like to have you gone. I assume you were dumped so i'll go ahead and be as direct as I can (I would've wanted to hear it as straight as this when I was dumped). The First Stage of No Contact Working: Curiosity. Be a positive person. This thread is archived. This is a big mistake, whether or not you want your ex back. Getting back with an ex after years is possible. It's hard to get over any breakup — let alone one with a person you thought you would be with forever. After a month she contacted me. So she will be thinking about you. My experience, after 20 years of not fully committing or actually trusting one person I took the leap of love without boundaries, jump off the cliff for one person. Within a month she was seeing someone new. If your ex doesn’t contact you, it’s usually because of the 5th stage I talked about earlier — fear. For example, one of the common reasons why a man will break up with a woman is that he will be in a situation where his woman isn’t treating him well anymore. But unless you've committed some of the typical post-breakup mistakes, getting back with an ex is not dependent on you—but rather on your ex and the months and years of time. Most of the time couple's get back together and end again because NOBODY DID THE WORK and that is the saddest truth of all. To not cuddle with you. They may not have received your message. LOL, yes it works. The irony here is that nothing you can physically say to her this soon after the breakup or this soon after last contacting her, can create that first feeling of attraction in her towards you again. You’re pretending you’re still together. It’s good for high school romance and relationships you don’t have much stake in, but creates the opposite effect with someone you have spent many years with. If you do that, I guarantee whether you get your ex back or not, you will feel victorious. But hopefully, you did not contact them. In order for this page to make sense we are going to have to make an assumption. Relationships are not supposed to be a game of who misses who. Perhaps you are too serious about life and could learn how to have more fun. The no contact rule is to allow you the time you need to work on yourself, build up your self-esteem, and realize that you can live without your ex and find happiness in your own life. It gives your ex the time and space to see if your negative qualities really outweigh the good ones. No watching his snap stories. I Know We Are Meant To Be! 4 DON'TS on how to get your ex boyfriend back and he'll be running back into your arms in no time. 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OP - the truth is, nobody on the internet is going to be able to determine if your ex is going to reconcile with you. The purpose of no contact has never been to get an ex back, and it doesn’t generally work for that purpose. report. This goes by the name of the no contact rule, ... even if you aren’t seeing signs your ex wants to get back together right now! ... You don’t feel the urge to indulge in the no contact rule because you’re not mad at each other and you don’t have hard feelings. hide. Sometimes addressing the original cause of the breakup is the best route to getting your ex back. It sounds like you're reading Mark Manson's work with the "FUCK YES" remark. And as is most characteristic of stubborn people, they will not give credence to anything you say, even if it is the truth. That's why the only thing you can do is follow the indefinite no contact rule and wait for your ex to make a move. Understand These Four Important Concepts To Stay Disciplined Something’s telling you that they haven’t reached out just because they’ve decided that the time is right for the two of you to be friends. Something like your mothers ashes… Well, then you have my permission to break the no contact rule to get them back. You’re never going to hit 100% of the shots that you take, you’re going to miss eventually. Try accepting this lapse in your productivity the way you would accept bad weather. People of reddit, did you ever get back with an ex? That is because getting your ex boyfriend back can sometimes rely pretty heavily on the no contact rule. however, like any other addiction one is trying to break, it’s always the first. Although the No Contact Rule is pretty explicit in cutting off all communication, you can tweak the rule in the following to help get your ex back. In this article, I’m going to give you a 5 step plan that will teach you how to win back your ex by magnetically drawing him back in – and keeping him there once he’s back. What to do if your ex contacts you during no contact. Your quote "Do i really want to spend the rest of my life with someone with such poor judgement" A-fucking-men. The no contact period will range from three weeks to three months, and it is crucial that you do not cave and reach out to your ex before this period is over. Going by all the emails I get many of you are not having much luck getting your ex back. So, as I explained above, this page is going to focus on what is going on in your exes mind after you implement the no contact rule. Cookies help us deliver our Services. The problem is that exes RARELY act how we want them to, on cue. At this point, consider your ex an immovable object. So right now, instead of fixating on, “Will he come back after he dumped me,” use this period of zero contact to channel all of your energy into becoming the new and improved version of yourself. No contact to get her back! No contact starts having an effect on your ex the very moment you enter no contact. Even though the rule itself is simple: just don’t have any contact with your ex for a certain period of time (which varies from 3 … Would would be the consequences of each option? (But not a lot more, don’t worry.) Focusing on what your ex wanted you to do or how they wanted you to act or who they wanted you to be will only cause you to fall back into those old patterns that caused issues in the first place because you’re only doing what your ex wants, not what you really want. Ask yourself these questions first. How to Use the No-Contact Rule to Get Your Ex Back. Your weekend can be brightened by doing something that you love. 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